Why Selflessness Is Harmful….

Have you ever wondered about the difference between generosity and self sacrifice?

If so, this article by Adam Grant and Allison Sweet Grant is a must-read, regardless of whether you are a parent or not:https://parenting.nytimes.com/parent-life/adam-grant-advice-children

The article is titled “We Need To Talk About ‘The Giving Tree.’ “I have always hated this popular children’s book by Shel Silverstein because I believe it sends the message that we need to give all that we have – literally everything – to our children, at the expense of ourselves. Research cited by the authors of the Times article supports that self sacrifice is detrimental to you and your relationships.   

The authors offer some wise advice, which applies to ALL relationships in which one person is the “giver” and the other is the “taker.” 

Here are some great takeaways from their article:

  • “Generosity is about helping others without harming yourself.”
  • “In a healthy family, giving is not one-sided.”
  • “Research shows that people who care about others and neglect themselves are more likely to be anxious and depressed.”  

The authors cite compelling research that shows self sacrifice is not the same as generosity – and that it is actually harmful to you and others. 

True generosity happens when we give to ourselves first, then offer it to others.

How are you being generous with yourself today?  I’d love to hear!

💜😀💜

Kathy McCabe
Life Coach

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