Are You Stuck In Shame?

Shame Keeps Us Stuck. Taking Responsibility Frees Us.

How often have you felt guilty or “ashamed” about yourself or about something you did?

For example, have you ever felt “ashamed” about:

  • yelling at your kids?
  • being overweight?
  • drinking one too many glasses of wine the night before?
  • not being further along in your career than you “should” be?

As Don Miguel Ruiz writes: “Human beings are the only species on the planet who punish themselves over and over again.”

Repeatedly feeling ashamed just keeps us stuck.

How Can You Take Responsibility Instead of Sitting in Shame?

When I feel “shame,” it is because of my thinking. It is an emotion that really doesn’t move me forward.

When I feel guilty or ashamed, I try to be curious and compassionate about why I am thinking that way.

Then I do my best to take Responsibility for what I am feeling badly about.

For example, if I yelled at my kids (which never happens 😀) and I didn’t want to, I might feel ashamed.

However, if I take responsibility for yelling and admit I was wrong, my shame dissipates.

I can say to my child, “I am sorry I yelled, but I was very angry that you lied to me about X.” If this happens again, rather than yelling at you, I am going to enforce the consequence of Y.”

How Taking Responsibility Can Free Us of Shame

In response to the questions above, ask yourself this – instead of feeling ashamed…

  • How can I take responsibility for my weight and health, and also get support to help me lose it?
  • How can I take responsibility for drinking too much and make a plan to not do it again?
  • How can I take responsibility for where I am in my career and make a plan to figure out my next steps?

As with everything, remember to be curious and compassionate about your “shame” first.

Then see how you can take responsibility – even in the tiniest way.

Try it, and let me know if you feel more FREE!

Please share with the icons below.



P.S.–My Fall Groups are filling up fast! Grab your spot TODAY! BONUS for signing up soon😀

P.S.S.–My Mastermind MINDSET Group is FULL….CLICK HERE to get on the list for the January, 2019 Group!

Kathy McCabe
Life Coach

Did You Take The 5 Day Challenge?

By now, I hope some of you have tried doing some daily journaling by using my “Create A Great Day Tool.” This tool serves as a “prompt” to help you get your thoughts on paper.

As I have seen over and over with myself and clients, journaling a little bit every day helps you understand what runs through your brain.

And remember: What runs through your brain, RUNS your life. 😀

You also should have received Ten Tips For More Real Joy Now as featured in The Mother List. I’d love to hear which tips have helped you the most!!

Finally, THANKS to all who have participated in the 5-Day Challenge!!! 

hope you all tried taking out the words “should” and “can’t” from your vocabulary.  

I know that I practiced better language…. OWNING what I wanted to do or not do, and what I wanted to think or not think about. I’d LOVE to hear how it went for YOU!

As some of you told me, you felt more EMPOWERED in your daily choices!! 

 🎶 YEAH!!  🎶

When we take RESPONSIBILITY for our language

We then take RESPONSIBILITY for our choices

When we take responsibility for our choices, we then take RESPONSIBILITY for our peace, happiness & JOY!

Our JOY is too IMPORTANT to give to someone else – and it DOES NOT depend on someone else!

Lastly, I highly encourage you to sign up HERE for a FREE Mini Coaching Session with me to help you learn a tool to increase your Joy NOW. I am only doing a few a week, and I would LOVE to support you! As different clients have said, coaching with me has:

  • “greatly improved my career and personal relationships”
  •  helped me “live more fully”
  •  helped me “live more joyfully in all areas of my life”

Check out more reviews HERE.

In case you missed any of the tools I mention above, I’ve linked to them below!

To A JOY-FILLED and Happy 4th of July! 🎆🎆🎆

Kathy McCabe
Life Coach

P.S.— I AM OFFERING TWO SUMMER COURSES on ‘FINDING REAL JOY.’ My in-person group starts Tuesday 7/17 (at noon) and meets for 5 weeks. Click HERE if you are interested. If you can’t make Tuesdays, I’m offering the same group course on Real Joy ONLINE on Fridays starting 7/20. Click HERE for more information.

P.S.S.— FOR LOCAL FRIENDS…I am offering a fun interactive workshop on Wednesday, July 11, at Neshama Yoga at 7 pm. Email me if you are interested!

Create A Great Day Tool

10 Tips For Real Joy Now

Your Language Matters

A while back I was published in The Motherlist for A Life Coach’s Advice on Real Joy. I cited 10 tips for finding real joy NOW.

Reviewing this list inspired me to create a 5 Day Challenge about Tip #8: “Drop ‘Should’ from Your Vocabulary.”

CHECK OUT this 2 Minute video about The Challenge below!!

For JUST 5 days, try NOT to use the word “should” or “can’t” in your vocabulary. (Instead, try using “I choose or choose not to” OR “I won’t”)

Language is so POWERFUL.

Removing these words from your vocabulary is a SIMPLE, but not always easy 😀, way to create some Real Joy NOW.

Leave a comment below if you are “IN” for this challenge!