Looking for a quick way to improve any relationship?
“Catch them being good!”
This is one of my favorite parenting tips, but this mantra can apply to any relationship.
“Catch them being good” is to consciously notice and verbally state what you like about someone’s behavior, ideally, several times a day. In one of my current groups, the “homework” is to notice and comment at least five times a day!
So instead of focusing on how your partner or child doesn’t do the dishes, is always running late, or perhaps picks his nose too often, try noticing – and verbally praising – how you like it when they “hang up their towel in the bathroom.” Or how they “ask how you are feeling” or “get you a cup a coffee.”
What we focus on expands.
When we let go of or reduce our criticism of another person, surprising things happen.
In my experience, it often quickly changes the relationship and makes it more positive. The receiver of praise often feels more validated and, interestingly, that individual is much more likely to reduce those negative habits that bother you.
So if you want to improve any relationship – your partner, your child, a friend or in-law – I challenge you to “catch them being good” for one week! Try consciously noticing what great things they are doing, and try your best to let go of other complaints!
Good luck – and please share with me what happens!
Master Certified Life & Business Coach,
Recovering Lawyer, Work-in-Progress Mom & Human
P.S. If you want to learn how coaching can help you reach your goals while ENJOYING your life, email me HERE to set up a time to chat!