“Self-Love” Tips

In Self Love 101, I blogged about the importance of committing acts of love towards yourself. I am following up with some of my favorite “self-love” tips:  

  1. Stop To Notice Your Thoughts.
    • Most of us have more than 50,000 thoughts a day. We “think” we know what we are thinking, but until we take time to stop and notice those thoughts, we are unaware of them.
    • A great way to notice your thoughts is through daily meditation, journaling (I offer a free journaling tool to help you do that), or setting a random reminder on your phone to notice what you are thinking.
    • Once you are able to “notice” your thinking, you can then determine whether your thoughts about yourself are helpful, loving, and make you feel better.
  2. Change Your Inner-Critic Chatter.
    • Many of us have an “inner critic” that is not loving towards ourselves.
    • Once we have noticed what we are thinking, we can make a conscious decision to stop our inner critic from taking over.
    • When the inner critic starts saying, “You are not good enough…” you can tell it to “STOP.”  You then have the opportunity to choose new thoughts that are more kind and helpful
  3. Practice Self-Compassion.
    • Quite often, the inner critic wants to “shame” us when we don’t meet a goal or veer off a diet plan.
    • Take 5 to 15 minutes a day to do a “Loving Kindness” meditation. It is a simple, self-compassion exercise and it’s very powerful.
    • When we are able to be compassionate with ourselves, our love for ourselves — and for others — will increase.
  4. Schedule Yourself.
    • Put yourself on the calendar!
    • Schedule your “me” time, in writing, every day.
    • Include your meditation or “quiet time,” in addition to exercise. Also, schedule fun activities you really want to do.
    • “Fun” is whatever lights you up!  It could be a walk in the woods, a manicure, or a trip to an art gallery.
    • When you put YOU on the calendar, you are much more likely to enjoy the activities you want, and you will grow to value and love yourself even more.

I’d love to hear if these tips help you!


If you are interested in my “Transform Your Life” Small Group Coaching Programs starting in March, email me!!!

Self Love 101

The Need for Self Love

On Valentine’s Day, we might buy cards, gifts or flowers, cook a special dinner, arrange a date, or simply say, “I love you,” to family and friends.

So often we forget and dismiss the need to commit acts of love towards ourselves. 💜

Worse yet, we might internally beat ourselves up for overeating, losing our temper, or for having a chaotic family life instead of the picture-perfect world we see in our Facebook feed.

When we internally shame ourselves, we usually are not the best company for anyone, including ourselves. Further, beating ourselves up doesn’t help us reach our goals.

Self Love Will Help You Reach Goals Faster — and Everyone is Happier

In my experience, dreams and goals are achieved much quicker and are long-lasting when you truly love yourself, love your mistakes and have compassion for yourself when you mess up, as we all do.

Magic happens when we truly love and take care of ourselves. Everyone benefits. We don’t look to our partners, friends or family to “make us happy.” Our resentment and anger diminishes or disappears.

Self Love 101: Noticing and Changing Your Inner Critic

So this month, give yourself the best Valentine by pouring on the love from you, to you. There are many ways to do this, but I believe the most fundamental one starts with your thoughts.

I and so many of my clients “think” we know what we are thinking, but quite often are unaware of our thoughts and beliefs until we stop and notice our thoughts.

Over the weekend, I was so inspired and grateful to work with an amazing, talented and successful group of women.

But more than once I heard a version of….”I am not enough”..or, “It is my fault…”

Once these women saw their “inner critic,” come to light, they knew that it was an “untrue” voice with “untrue beliefs.”

If your inner critic is just beating you up, it is time to challenge it and change that voice. You are so worth it!

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. Stay tuned for more Self Love Tips next week.

A Tool to Help Hear YOU

Rumi said, “Silence gives answers.”

I would add, silence gives you YOUR answers!

It took me years to learn “how” to get quiet so that I could hear myself. I was constantly seeking validation and the opinions of others about my life, and never my own. 😟

Thanks to Julia Cameron, and to many other great teachers, workshops, and coaching I have done, I finally learned what a gift it was to myself to create a daily practice of getting quiet each day.  I learned to journal. It is a time creator and provides a real reflection to see what is running in your mind.

This practice has been life-changing for me as it has helped me with so many things including leaving my ‘identity’ as a lawyer and become a life coach. 

To help others with getting “quiet,” I designed a “Create a Great Day,” Journaling Tool.  This tool is a framework to help you get quiet every day. To look at your thoughts, and intentionally decide what you want to keep, as well as what you want to create for the day.  It is a powerful practice. Of course, meditation is awesome, but often difficult at first as it was for me. 

Remember, what runs through our brains, runs our lives.

Sign up for my email list, and you can get this tool for free. If you don’t want to be on my email list, that’s ok, and it will still be sent to you as my gift. 

Try it for at least 14 days. If this tool doesn’t work for you, modify it so it does. I have had clients take notes on their thoughts on their phones. Do what works for YOU! 😃

When you are able to hear your true self, you will be on a path of real joy for your life.