Whose Business Is It?

“There’s my business, your business and God’s business.” — Byron Katie

“Alice” was working for a client on a project and spending many extra hours on it than what they had agreed, as the client had many additional demands. Alice had also charged the client an hourly rate that was much less than what her competition was billing, and Alice was losing money on the project. 

She was frustrated and depleted.

She did not want to ask for a rate increase because her client “couldn’t afford it.” 

When I asked her, “Whose business are you in about whether he can afford it?,” she paused. 

She realized that she was in the client’s “business,” not hers, as to whether the client could or couldn’t afford her services. 

Alice’s “business” was charging an hourly rate that felt fair and in integrity for her.

Alice renegotiated her contract and the client agreed to pay her more.  

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The next time you are stressing about a problem whether it is at work, with your kids or with something beyond your control, ask yourself “Whose business am I in?” 

It might solve your problem!

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Kathy McCabe
Life Coach


P.S.Β If you are a mom or caregiver who often finds herself stressed out because you are frequently in the “business” of your kids, or others, you will love my retreat and classes aboutΒ “Parenting With More Joy!”Β Email me atΒ kathy@kathymccabelifecoach.comto find out more!

How Committed Are You?

There is such a difference between wanting something and being fully committed. 

I used to say “I want to do work that I love.” But the truth was, at the time, I wasn’t fully committed. Even though I said I wanted a different job, I didn’t want to spend time and energy working to find such a job for many reasons, including having young kids at the time. 

When I realized I wasn’t committed to making a change at that time, it was freeing. It made me see what I really wanted was to be happier each day.

I decided to take responsibility for my happiness in the moment and not make it all about my job. I put effort into changing my mindset, creating fun things to do everyday, and spending time with people I loved. It worked because I was committed to it. 

Is there any area of your life in which you say you “want” something but you are not 100 percent committed to getting it? 

For example, you might say, “I want to be ‘happier.”

If you are committed to becoming happier, it means focusing your time and energy on that goal – not just saying “I want it.” 

So, ask yourself: On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad do you want whatever it is you want? 

If your answer is less than an 8, recognize that maybe you do not really want it right now. 

The good news is if you simply recognize you are not committed, it can help you clarify what you really, really want right now. It helps you focus on working towards your goal instead of using language that keeps you stuck. 

What is something you want, something you are willing to devote time and energy to? 

I’d love to hear!

πŸ’œπŸ˜€πŸ’œ

Kathy

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P.S. If you are interested in individual coaching, I am offering a FREE 30-minute mini-consult. Sign up HERE if you would like to schedule one!


P.P.S. Local Moms, SAVE THE DATE – 4/28/19. I am putting together an AWESOME 1-Day Mother’s Day Retreat. Sign up HERE!

Guilt & Motherhood

“Guilt,” is what one mom answered when I asked her why she did not prioritize herself.

So many moms, especially those who work outside the home, say they feel guilty about doing something for themselves, especially if it’s indulgent, fun or different than the “typical way” a mom is expected to relax (a manicure or a bubble bath).  

When Michelle and Barak Obama went to marriage counseling, Michelle, who was very unhappy at the time, realized that she was expecting Barak to make her happy. She learned how important it was to make herself happy. So she started prioritizing herself, getting help, and doing fun things for herself. Their marriage, according to Michelle, greatly improved. 

When I start to feel guilty about doing something fun without my kids, I remind myself of what famous Swiss psychologist Carl Jung said: 

The greatest burden on a child is the unlived life of a parent.”  

So, moms…. Do your best to make time for YOU – and drop the guilt! 

You are giving your family a gift when you take time for yourself to make yourself happy – even if that means you aren’t home sometimes!

In honor of International Women’s Day, do something fun, just for you! And men, give the women in your life permission to do this!

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Kathy

P.S. Local moms, join me for an awesome 1 day retreat on 4/28/19 to help you parent with more clarity, calm & JOY. Get on the “first to know” list here!

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Kathy McCabe
Life Coach