What is the Best Gift for your Kid?

Being Happy Is The Best Gift You Can Give Your Kids

I often hear some version of this from moms: “I am ‘sacrificing’ doing – or not doing – something I love to do in order for my kid(s) to be happy.” Or so we think!

I, like many parents I know, want to do everything I can to help our kids be “happy” – whatever that means.

But instead of allowing our kids to struggle or feel “bad,” “sad” or “mad,” we try to fix the situation or tell them not to “feel bad.” We often do this at the expense of ourselves.

Our “fixing-it” behavior backfires. It often makes us angry or resentful, and it does not serve our kids very well.

An angry or resentful parent does not help anything – as I know from my own personal experience!😀

You Can’t Control Your Kid’s Emotions

It is impossible to control the emotional experiences of another.  

I learned from the “horse-whisperer” Koelle Simpson, while on a horse retreat with her, that a wild horse cannot be “forced” to become calm by another horse or person. However, a calm person or calm horse can influence how fast that wild horse calms down.

Kids, like adults, need to learn that it is “OK” to feel bad, sad or mad.

They need to learn to process negative emotions in a healthy way instead of turning to food, drugs, or other negative behaviors to avoid feelings.

Importantly, they need to learn that someone else can’t “fix” their feelings.

As parents, we can be compassionate witnesses to their feelings and allow them to feel. The more we allow them to do this and work on being calm and happy ourselves, the more we can influence our kids in a positive way.

I did not grow up this way, so this is something I still work on and practice with my kids.

How Can You Work On Your ‘Happy’ Today?

I have noticed with myself and other moms I’ve coached that the more we work on our own happiness, the more positive our influence can be on our children.

Being a “happy mom” – whatever that means to you – is an everlasting gift to your child.

Is there one small thing you can do for yourself today that would make you happy?

I’d love to hear!

💜😀💜

Kathy

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Kathy McCabe
Life Coach