How To Get Unstuck When You Don’t Know What To Do

I like to think of any emotion I have as a choice.

I have written before in a blog about how science supports that we don’t have to be a victim of our emotions.

If I work on my thoughts about the emotion I want to feel, I can change that emotion — or generate a new one.

Two Types Of ‘I Don’t Know’

Choosing to be “Confused” or stuck in “I Don’t Know” mode about anything is generally not helpful to anyone.

There are two ways to interpret “I Don’t Know”:

1) “I Don’t Know” because you need more information. For example, this “I Don’t Know” could be when you are deciding on a car purchase, and you are not sure which one to buy. You may want to look into types of cars, their safety ratings, and prices. You may stay in “I Don’t Know” mode until you have accumulated enough details to make an informed decision. This type of “I Don’t Know” can help drive you to seek the right solution.

2) The second “I Don’t Know” mode is when you are unwilling or afraid to commit to a decision. For example, stating, “I don’t know what to do with my career,” typically makes you feel stuck. It usually does not move you forward in any way. Notice if you have been trapped in this thought pattern. When I am, I typically do nothing. Deciding to pick an area that you are interested in can be really helpful.

So often we get stuck in the “I Don’t Know” mode because we are afraid to make a ‘wrong choice.’ Or we know the choice to make, but we don’t want to voice that choice.

This “I Don’t Know” mode is never helpful.

Decide And Commit To Knowing Your Next Step  

The solution to the stuck “I Don’t Know” mode Is Deciding and Committing. 

If you are confused about your career or a relationship, Decide to take one small step to help you clear the confusion. Then, Commit fully to that next step.

For example, you could “Decide” to pursue one project at work that falls outside of your regular job description because you find that work interesting. You then commit for the next 3 or 6 months to that new work. You don’t allow yourself to go into the “I Don’t Know” stuck mode because you have made a decision and commitment to your next step.

The same holds true for a relationship you might say you “Don’t Know” what to do about. You decide to stay, to go, or to get counseling. You can then commit to a time frame that feels comfortable to you.

Knowing your next small step is so powerful and always keeps you unstuck!

Or, if you are still overwhelmed and not sure about your next small step, you might consider committing to work with a life coach who can help you find it! 😀

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Kathy McCabe
Life Coach

P.S. My current small group coaching programs are full. If you are interested in my summer 2018 small group coaching program, click HERE to get on the list. If you are interested in my Fall 2018 group coaching program, click HERE to get on the list.

If you are interested in individual coaching, I am offering a FREE 30-minute mini session. I am only doing 2 per week. Sign up HERE if you would like to schedule one!

How to Get Unstuck When You Are In A Victim Story

Schedule a FREE 30 Minute Life Strategy Session, no commitment required!

Many of us get stuck in our often-painful “stories” we tell ourselves or others.

Our “stories” could be about childhood, the past, or what might happen in the future.

When we live in our painful stories, we stay stuck in them.

Don’t Get Stuck In A Story That Doesn’t Serve You

My client* “Susan,” a recently divorced mom, was telling herself “it wasn’t fair that she had to work and that there was no one to take care of her.”

Susan liked to retell this story and get validation from her friends that “it sucked.”

When Susan sat in the story and believed it, she felt awful. She wasn’t motivated to work on her business and did nothing to help herself.

As long as Susan kept framing her situation as “unfair, with no one to take care of her…”  it caused her pain. It didn’t move her forward.

Find A New Story

After we did some work together, Susan realized how powerful it was to change her story into one that served her.

She changed her story to “I love taking care of me.”

Once she changed her “thought story” and really started practicing it, the result was powerful.

Susan began putting energy into her business and felt much better about herself.

Changing Your Story Can Change Your Life

Notice when you are focused on a story about the past or future.

Notice whether your story is serving you and helping you with your goals.

Finding a new story to tell yourself is not denying, deleting, or changing what happened.

It is simply reframing your thoughts and your beliefs into another true story that helps you move forward.

Ways To Reframe Your Story

“I am this way because my parents were…” could become,  “I learned many great lessons from my childhood.”

“I am too old…” could become“I am full of wisdom.”

“I have been out of the workplace too long…” could become“I have so much life and work experience to offer.”

Change your story – and you can change your life!  

I’d love to hear your thoughts about your stories. Leave a comment below or Email me.

*Clients’ names & details are changed to protect their privacy.

Want help with creating new stories to create a life you LOVE? Sign up now for my next “Transform Your Life Small Group Coaching” starting April 14. Bonuses for early-bird sign up!  Email me at

Goal & Visioning Workshop THIS Saturday 3/17! Space still available!