Goals, Values and Beliefs

Check out this article in Salon.com where I am quoted about goals, beliefs, and values: 

https://www.salon.com/2018/06/03/as-social-media-culture-becomes-normalized-setting-goals-becomes-psychologically-distressing/

This article addresses why people may experience distress about their goals. 

While the article focuses mainly on millennials, I think many of its points apply to all of us.   

To avoid goal conflict, your goals need to be aligned with your:

  • authentic self
  • your most-important values and
  • most significantly, your conscious and unconscious beliefs

For example, whenever I make an offer to do a program or group, I make sure my offer aligns with my work values which include, “fun, using my gifts and making a contribution.”

Do your goals match your values & beliefs? I’d love to hear! 

XO
Kathy

💜😀💜

Kathy McCabe
Life Coach

P.S. My Real Joy Small Coaching Groups are starting next week, please contact me if you are interested!!

Do You Have A Wild Goal?

How My ‘Wildly Improbable Goal’ Came True

“Wildly Improbable Goals,” or “WIGs,” as Martha Beck calls them, are goals that make your body feel excited, come alive or full of energy.

I call them “Wild Goals.”

They are not goals achieved by analyzing, doing what makes “sense,” or being “practical.”

They often grow from a place of imagination and dreaming.

One of my Wild Goals was to visit South Africa with my coaching mentor, Martha Beck.

I just got back from this amazing trip!

Not only was the experience exciting, fun, and interesting – it was so surreal.

Surreal because I just couldn’t believe how quickly this Wild Goal manifested.

To Make A Wild Goal, You Need to Get Out of Your Head

As Martha says, “Wildly Improbable Goals are not in the rational mind.”

Part of working on such goals requires you to really feel what you want in your body – not your head.

I had been leading a coaching group where we were working on such goals.

One client asked me to share one of my Wildly Improbable Goals. When I thought about the possibility of this trip, I felt an electrical charge in my body.

I thought it was a bit unrealistic – not something that would happen in the near future, but maybe not impossible. So I wrote it down.

Shortly after writing down this goal, I received an email with the opportunity to apply for this trip.

Even if I were accepted, there were about 50 “head” reasons to say “no”: My kids and their schedules, my work, money, traveling by myself, my fear of tiny airplanes, the possibility of malaria, the hassle of flying 20 hours each way….The list in my head went on.

But my body was saying, “Yes!”

I took small steps towards the goal, and the goal became a reality.

It was so worth it!!!

Before You Make Your Wild Goals, Take Care Of Yourself

A prerequisite for creating such goals, according to Martha, is that you must “befriend, protect, and nurture your own spirit.”

Based on my experience working with clients, if you are exhausted, overwhelmed, or stressed out, it will be difficult to imagine these WIGS.

You may just need more rest, play, help with childcare, or the ability to delegate work projects. (If you’re looking for more tips, check out my posts on the importance of self-care: Self Love 101 and Self Love Tips.)

Start by paying attention to your real needs, wants, and desires in the smallest ways so that you can allow yourself the gift of dreaming up some wild goals.

Tips For Realizing A ‘Wildly Improbable Goal’ 

If you are in a place where you have nurtured yourself and your spirit well, you are ready to make some Wild Goals!!

Consider these tips:

  1. Get out of your head!  Learn to recognize when your body is saying “YES” to wanting something. For me, it feels like there is a buzz running through me. If you don’t know what that feels like, start by identifying small things your body wants.
  2.  When you feel that “YES!” to something you really want, don’t dismiss it, even if it seems like an unlikely goal. Instead, ask yourself: How could this become possible?
  3. Write it down. The act of putting a goal on paper is very powerful.
  4. Find the smallest, tiniest step you could take to move toward that goal. Achieving Wild Goals takes effort – but it is sooo worth it!!

For more tips on creating Wildly Improbable Goals, check out these great ideas from Martha Beck: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/wildly-improbable-goals/all

To Your Wild Goals!

Like this? Please share with the icon below.

💜😀💜

Kathy McCabe
Life Coach

P.S.– If you want to see more pictures from my adventure, check out my Facebook page.

P.S.S. – Want help with creating some Wild Goals? Schedule a FREE 30-minute coaching session by emailing me. My current group coaching programs are full. You can get on the list for my next groups by emailing me. If you are interested in my upcoming online coaching program, email me here.

The Secret to Success Despite “Failure”

Failure is a natural by-product of success. Ask any successful person if he/she has failed, and undoubtedly, the more successful a person is, the more failures he/she endured.

How do successful people succeed despite failing?

Successful People Pursue Their Dream Even When Rejected

My writer friend, Nicole Karlis, had an idea about a story. She wanted to write about how “doing good,” is good for your health.  As she pitched her story to numerous editors, she was repeatedly rejected and told, “Your story isn’t good.”

Despite the numerous rejections, Nicole genuinely believed in her story.

Thankfully, Nicole trusted her gut and pitched the story one more time to The New York Times, who said “Yes!” Read her story here.

Two months later, Bill Gates tweeted that Nicole’s article was one of his 10 favorite articles of the year.

Successful People Change Direction When Needed

Peter,* a junior partner at a large software company (“The Company”) excelled at his job where he enjoyed a large and growing client base.

Repeated accolades of, “You are so valuable, clients love you, we want you to stay,” were given to Peter by his superiors.

However, despite the frequent praise, The Company repeatedly passed Peter over for equity partner for various reasons, including indirect suggestions that at 51, he was “too old” to fit into the partnership track.

Compliments could no longer satisfy Peter’s drive to make capital partner.

Peter’s decision to make a change resulted in being hired by a competing software company directly as an equity partner, resulting in close to doubling his income.

Successful People Keep Practicing

Michael Jordan, who some consider the greatest basketball player of all time, didn’t make his high school varsity basketball team. He said he missed more than 9,000 shots in his career.

Jordan, known for practicing as hard as when he competed, attributed his success to failing over and over again.

Successful People Don’t Call It Failure

Thomas Edison, the famed inventor of the light bulb, said he never failed.

Edison said he found 10,000 ways that didn’t work.

Use Failure to Help You Succeed

Failure doesn’t define successful people.

Failure is beneficial because it can tell you what is not working.

If you believe in your dream or goal, keep persevering, like Nicole.

If you need to alter your course to obtain your success, make the change, like Peter.

If you need to get better to achieve your goal, keep practicing, like Michael Jordan.

If you don’t succeed immediately, don’t call it a failure.

Use the experience, like Thomas Edison, as helpful information or even as a small detour until you find the success you seek.

To Your Success!

Kathy McCabe
Life Coach

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If you want help to make your goals successful, schedule a FREE 30 minute life strategy call with me. Click Here!

P.S. — If you want help to make your goals REAL…join my “Transform Your Life” Small Group Coaching Program beginning 4/14. BONUS expires 4/9. Email me to apply!

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*Peter’s name and company details have been changed to protect privacy