Why Joy?

Why do I focus on JOY with my coaching?”

This was the question posed by radio host Ann Marie Kelly when she interviewed me last week on WCHE 1520 AM for her show, “The Friday Happy Hour with Ann Marie Kelly”  

Such a simple question. But the more I think about it, the more answers I have!

 When you…

  • Decide to find JOY now – no matter what your circumstances – it helps you with your bigger and longer-term goals.
  • Take responsibility for your JOY, it means that you take action  sometimes with a tiny, turtle 🐢 step – and you stop whining 😭 and realize no one will do it for you.
  • Choose to learn and grow 🌳 and find JOYyes JOY, from life’s challenges, it inspires everyone around you.💜And the older we get, the more challenges we have.😀

When I started taking responsibility for my JOY, no matter WHAT, here’s what happened….

  • The attorney job I grew to “hate” changed (because I changed) – and I made more money, had more flexibility and became happier.
  • My chronic back pain disappeared. 💃
  • The “fun” in my life doubled.
  • My “challenges” in life became my teachers. 🤓
  • My relationships improved.
  • It ALL has led to my passionate career today.🤗

I want the same for YOU!

How are YOU taking Responsibility for YOUR Joy Today?

I’d love to hear!

XO
Kathy

💜😀💜

Kathy McCabe
Life Coach

P.S – Local friends, come to the fun workshop TONIGHT on “How to Deal with Difficult People,” email me to R.S.V.P.

P.S.S – If you want help finding more Real Joy Now, book a mini-session with me here and I will help you! I am only doing two per week, so sign up NOW!

P.S.S.S – If you want to hear the whole interview with Ann Marie Kelly visit: http://wche1520.libsyn.com/the-friday-happy-hour-7-20-18 

Goals, Values and Beliefs

Check out this article in Salon.com where I am quoted about goals, beliefs, and values: 

https://www.salon.com/2018/06/03/as-social-media-culture-becomes-normalized-setting-goals-becomes-psychologically-distressing/

This article addresses why people may experience distress about their goals. 

While the article focuses mainly on millennials, I think many of its points apply to all of us.   

To avoid goal conflict, your goals need to be aligned with your:

  • authentic self
  • your most-important values and
  • most significantly, your conscious and unconscious beliefs

For example, whenever I make an offer to do a program or group, I make sure my offer aligns with my work values which include, “fun, using my gifts and making a contribution.”

Do your goals match your values & beliefs? I’d love to hear! 

XO
Kathy

💜😀💜

Kathy McCabe
Life Coach

P.S. My Real Joy Small Coaching Groups are starting next week, please contact me if you are interested!!

Learn To LOVE It When Someone Says “No” To You

Learning to not take things personally is such a gift to yourself.

I am a sensitive person.

I love it when people say “yes” to me. I love it when people want to be my friend, receive my blogs, or coach with me.

I have now learned, after several decades of living and plenty of coaching, to love it when people say “no” to me. It is a skill I have to practice.

If someone doesn’t want to be friends with me, or if someone unsubscribes from my email list or isn’t interested in my coaching, they are simply not “my people” –– and that is a good thing!

I don’t want to bother those people who are not interested in me or in what I do, or those people whose personalities or thinking don’t “fit” with mine. They may not be curious about me. They may not want any more friends. They may not share my values or my interests. They may not be ready for coaching – or maybe they simply don’t care about my work.

These people are not wrong or bad.

Like I tell my kids, friends are like clothes. Some fit and some don’t. It’s OK when they don’t fit. There are other options!

Unless I have done something to hurt someone, which I always try to avoid, I don’t make it about me.

Find Freedom In Being The Real You

It is so freeing to think that another person’s rejection is not about me.

It gives me permission to say what I think and feel, with kindness.

It gives me permission to be bold with my work: to write and speak about what I am passionate about – and to make offerings that I believe will truly help people.

It gives me permission to love those people who don’t “like” me or want to hear from me.

It gives me permission to be the Real Me.

Tips For Learning To Think: “It’s Not About Me”

The next time someone says “No” to you or doesn’t do what You Want, consider these ideas:

  1. Is Their “No” Really About Them? Ask yourself if the other person’s “no,” rejection, or refusal is really just about their own struggles or desires. If someone says “no” or doesn’t like you, it is more often about them – not about you. I love to remind myself: “Everyone Is Fighting A Battle That You Don’t Know About.”
  2. Own Your Contribution To The Situation. It is powerful to see what you did or didn’t do to create the situation. If you asked for a raise and your boss said “No,” notice where you might not have worked hard enough. If you truly believe there was nothing else you could have done, see how the “No” could be about so many things unrelated to your true value. For example, the “No” could be about the economy, the company’s budget, or the company’s values to not adequately reward employees.
  3. View The Situation From A Balcony. Pretend you are sitting in a balcony watching you and the other person or situation unfold. See if you can get a better perspective from a distance.
  4. What Would You Say To Your Best Friend? Pretend the situation is happening to your best friend instead of you. Notice what you would tell your friend to depersonalize the situation.

When we can depersonalize other people’s behavior towards us, we create so much FREEDOM within ourselves. This freedom allows us to be who we are meant to be in this world.

Here’s To Creating More Freedom in Your Life!

XO
Kathy

💜😀💜

Kathy McCabe
Life Coach

P.S.—Want more FREEDOM in your life? Join my Tuesday In Person Group, find out more HERE or Fridays Online Real Joy Group…find out more HERE.

Are you curious about how coaching could help you accelerate your life goals, schedule a free mini session HERE!

P.S.S.—Join me for a short Facebook Live tomorrow at 12:30 about how to improve your TO DO list!.