How to Get Unstuck When You Are In A Victim Story

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Many of us get stuck in our often-painful “stories” we tell ourselves or others.

Our “stories” could be about childhood, the past, or what might happen in the future.

When we live in our painful stories, we stay stuck in them.

Don’t Get Stuck In A Story That Doesn’t Serve You

My client* “Susan,” a recently divorced mom, was telling herself “it wasn’t fair that she had to work and that there was no one to take care of her.”

Susan liked to retell this story and get validation from her friends that “it sucked.”

When Susan sat in the story and believed it, she felt awful. She wasn’t motivated to work on her business and did nothing to help herself.

As long as Susan kept framing her situation as “unfair, with no one to take care of her…”  it caused her pain. It didn’t move her forward.

Find A New Story

After we did some work together, Susan realized how powerful it was to change her story into one that served her.

She changed her story to “I love taking care of me.”

Once she changed her “thought story” and really started practicing it, the result was powerful.

Susan began putting energy into her business and felt much better about herself.

Changing Your Story Can Change Your Life

Notice when you are focused on a story about the past or future.

Notice whether your story is serving you and helping you with your goals.

Finding a new story to tell yourself is not denying, deleting, or changing what happened.

It is simply reframing your thoughts and your beliefs into another true story that helps you move forward.

Ways To Reframe Your Story

“I am this way because my parents were…” could become,  “I learned many great lessons from my childhood.”

“I am too old…” could become“I am full of wisdom.”

“I have been out of the workplace too long…” could become“I have so much life and work experience to offer.”

Change your story – and you can change your life!  

I’d love to hear your thoughts about your stories. Leave a comment below or Email me.

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*Clients’ names & details are changed to protect their privacy.

Want help with creating new stories to create a life you LOVE? Sign up now for my next “Transform Your Life Small Group Coaching” starting April 14. Bonuses for early-bird sign up!  Email me at kathy@kathymccabelifecoach.com.

Goal & Visioning Workshop THIS Saturday 3/17! Space still available!

The Secrets To Being A Good (Enough) Mom

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‘Working Dad’? 

I work with so many “working moms.” But for dads who work, we don’t hear the term ‘working dads.’ 

Perhaps because many of us understand that if you are a “working mom,” you have two jobs: 

  1. A paid one, where women hopefully receive appreciation, raises, and personal satisfaction using their skills.
  2. An unpaid job, where appreciation and other benefits are not guaranteed – at least not in my house😏

I think we all understand how much work it is to be a mom. For those of us who currently have jobs or who have worked outside the home, “outside work” can feel way easier than “working” as the primary parent responsible for nearly everything related to home and family. In this latter role, we often find there are no “clear cut” answers to problems, which can make this job even more challenging!

So this week, as we celebrate International Women’s Day – where ALL women need to be honored – don’t forget to honor yourself.

The Secrets To Being A Good (Enough) Mom

Here are a few uncommon Secrets To Being A Good (Enough) Mom:

  • Let Go Of Perfection: None of us are perfect, and it is healthy to show our kids we are not. Our society has unrealistic expectations about what it means to be a “good mom.” We are supposed to be at every soccer game, cook an organic dinner, never raise our voices, and look great while we do it all. Seriously? Let’s show our kids that we can’t do everything and that, certainly, we can’t do it perfectly.  
  • Ask For Help: We don’t have to do it all alone. The best parenting advice I ever got was: “Hire as much help as you can afford.”  If you can’t afford to hire help, ask your partner or neighbor to watch your kids so you can go to yoga or do something you enjoy, at least once a week.
  • Give Yourself A Mental Break: Take a moment to realize that we can’t control our kids, spouses, or others. (And, oh, how I wish we could! 😀) If your child refuses to do homework, sometimes the “natural consequence” of a poor grade can be a powerful teacher … or so I have heard.😏

I’d love to hear your thoughts about your secrets to motherhood!!

xo,

Kathy

Schedule a FREE 30 Minute Life Strategy Session, no commitment required!